My best function on Sunday? Stand-in for lighting…

I finally understand what it’s like to be old.  Let me just say this: It stinks.

Since working from home full time, I’ve been trying to help out Ryan with Retro 8 Films more.  Over the past few days he’s finally been shooting here in Atlanta, so I decided to help on set–but perhaps I overestimated my abilities at this stage in pregnancy.  It’s HOT, and after a successful, 9-hour shoot (mostly outside in Piedmont Park) that ended with a flat tire and an arrival at home at 2:30 a.m., saying we were exhausted would be an understatement.  Truthfully, I almost felt bad being there because I wasn’t of too much help; my hands and feet were so swollen they were painful to look at, and no one would let me carry barely anything.  Dead weight?  Maybe.

So yesterday when we had some guys doing guerrilla shooting around town, I relegated myself to being the taskmaster, riding along, making phone calls and (pretty much) just bossing them around.  In my element? Well, yeah, maybe. :)  The only problem? It was STILL HOT and, once again, an extremely long day.

Today I’m achy and sore and exhausted (Sleep? Who needs sleep?) and am walking around like a little old lady–a limp (from a KILLER middle-of-the-night charlie horse that’s left my calf sore for two days now!), a stiff lower back, no energy and a cloudy brain.  I don’t want to feel this way even for even half of a day, much less for the latter half of my life!  God, help me to stay active, competent and healthy as the decades pass…

Beyond resulting in my feeling physically old, the past few days have really made me appreciate Ryan even more than before.  When he’s out of town for work without me, I forget how HARD he works, and how LONG his hours are.  I know that there’s something in men that drive them to want to provide for their families, and I’m so proud that Ryan’s found a way to do what he loves and make a living.  I think back four years to when he first quit his 9-to-5 job and how scared I was–in fact, I believe that I delayed him in even making that decision because of that fear (bad wife!)–and how life would be so different and less fulfilling for him if he hadn’t followed his heart.

It will be interesting to see how much of our work lives change when this baby arrives (clearly mine has already adjusted over the past eight months), but regardless of the impact, I know that Ryan’s talent and drive won’t change, which is an encouraging constant.  Now if only God would protect his health too as we age, we’ll be in good shape. (Pun intended.)