The Second Time Around

Due March 22, 2014!
Everyone says that pregnancy is “totally different” the second time around, and so far I’ve found that statement to be utterly true in almost every sense.
Before Baby #2 was in my belly, I always got so sad when mothers talked about how their second pregnancies were so different, so not a big deal. It seemed that the first time around, prepping for parenthood, registering and decorating a nursery was so fun and exciting, and the second time around, well, people barely thought about names before the baby popped out. It’s always said with a smirk and an exhaustive eye roll, but second-time moms always lament about how quickly a second pregnancy goes by and how they have other, more important stuff to worry about. I’m always burdened by the feeling that life is passing me by too quickly, that this is NOT the dress rehearsal but in fact the opening night, and so as soon as we saw that second pink line, I committed myself to experiencing this nine or so months just as fully as I did the first time around–but it hasn’t been an easy task even thus far.
It’s funny, even with a concerted effort to enjoy and immerse myself in this pregnancy wholeheartedly, I feel like the odds are stacked against me. I signed up for weekly development emails with Baby Center, but because of my existing account for my previous pregnancy, it’s been all messed up and inconsistent. I’ve been exhausted and sick, and since E.V. takes up all of my waking attention, the time I’d have previously put toward dreaming about potential boy or new girl nurseries has been put toward keeping her happy and entertained. (Thankfully my over-thinking and over-buying tendencies have left me with an idea of what we’ll do for Baby #2’s room, so everybody breathe a sigh of relief. :) ) Also, for whatever reason (probably a packed schedule), my appointments with my OBGYN have been SUPER quick, whereas last time I’d spend an hour running through my list of burning questions; plus we waited a lot longer to tell people this time, meaning that I haven’t gotten to really talk too much about my pregnancy at all–not that there’s much to say I suppose. :) Overall, my first trimester has been 100% about survival, and although it was pretty terrible with Emma Vance as well, last time I’d say it was about 75% survival and 25% excitement and preparation. So far my goal to fully experience this pregnancy has been about a C+ effort, but I’m determined to do better moving forward.
I do have to give myself some slack, though. The first time around, we had a LOT to do. I knew absolutely NOTHING about pregnancy, labor, having a newborn or being a parent, and so I was constantly reading and researching and asking advice and opinions, and (obviously) this time around I am much better prepared. I’ve done this. I can do this. Not to say that Baby #2 won’t bring its own unique personality and challenges into our lives, but overall I’ve settled into a parenting philosophy that I love and that I plan on continuing; I know what baby products work best for me and my family; decisions about pacifiers and nursing and sleep philosophies have been made; we have pre-discussed names we still love and will most likely use. At most I feel like I need to do a little brush-up reading, a couple of trips to Buy Buy Baby and Target (and Carter’s if it’s a boy!), and mostly think about how to best transition Emma Vance into big sisterhood. (Really that transition feels like the bigger question and challenge with this pregnancy.) Truthfully, there’s just a lot less to do this time around, which for most people would be comforting, but for me, a Type A, OCD over-achiever, it’s a bit unnerving. :)
Anyway, I digress. I know you’re wondering (if you’re a girl at least) about some of the more normal questions that go along with a new pregnancy, so here ya’ go…
1. Yes, we were trying. I was ready like as soon as Emma Vance was born (oh, the adrenaline and hormones!), but Ryan was more realistic. They’ll be 21 months apart if all goes according to plan, which seems like a good age difference to me. My brothers and I were all five years apart, and I think it’ll be fun for our kids to go to school together and experience life at the same speed.
2. Yes, I’ve been sick, but it’s slowly going away. My nausea has been much different this time, and I can’t decide which way is better: With Emma Vance, I was sick as soon as I was pregnant (remember I thought I had a stomach flu?), and it was mild-to-moderate, all the time and lasted until about 16 weeks. This time I was fine until six weeks, and it’s been mostly in the afternoons and evenings and a lot more intense; it’s started dying down already, although it still rears it’s ugly head randomly. Does this mean I’m having a boy? Maybe. Or maybe it just means that this pregnancy is different. We’ll see…
3. Yes, I’m tired. In fact, I’d rather be sleeping right now. In fact, I’d rather be sleeping than doing anything else, but, really, isn’t this par for the parenting course? Thankfully E.V.’s in the long-single-afternoon-nap phase, so thus I am too. :) I haven’t quite hit the second trimester energy phase yet, but I’m really looking forward to it.
4. Yes, I have the WORST baby brain. I remember this from last time, how functioning was so hard, but it still stinks. The worst part for me isn’t the forgetfulness, but rather the inability to focus and put a thought together…or to write a coherent thought. I promise to be back to good, sensical blog posts soon!
5. Yes, we are going to find out the gender. Although no Gender Reveal party this time. Sorry, folks! BUT, we are going to do something fun. (I mean, really, did you expect anything less from us?)
6. Yes, we already have names. And, yes, we’re keeping them a surprise. And, as nicely as I can say this, thank you, but we don’t really want anyone else’s opinions. :)

1 Comment

  1. October 1, 2013 / 4:39 pm

    EEEK! SO exciting! Congratulations :))))) Hope you’re feeling better soon and get to enjoy some of this crazy time ;)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *